


Perfect

by slut_for_jan_and_trixya



Series: Our story together [3]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, body image issues, crystal loves her, crystal loves her so much, poor gigi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:28:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24675358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slut_for_jan_and_trixya/pseuds/slut_for_jan_and_trixya
Summary: Gigi gets a text from Dahlia that sends her spiralling, but luckily Crystal is there to catch her when she falls.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Series: Our story together [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759813
Comments: 1
Kudos: 72





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> tw: do not read if you are triggered by eating disorders. 
> 
> If you are reading this and you feel insecure about your body. You are beautiful. I don't need to see you to know. You are a non-toxic member of the drag race fandom and to me, that makes you infinately beautiful. You are absoloutely perfect the way you are.

Gigi sighed. She knew she shouldn't have checked her dms. It was a stupid decision made by a stupid person at a stupid time. But she couldn’t resist. She couldn’t resist seeing what her former friends had been sending her for the past three months. Oh my god. Had it really only been three months? 

It felt like a lifetime since she had been a part of Dahlia’s clique. Since then, she had successfully integrated into Crystal’s friendship circle, welcomed with open arms by Jan and Jackie. The couple had been eternally grateful to Gigi for her role in freeing Jan from Niki’s clutches, therefore they defended her from her previous victims. Gigi still wasn’t well-liked. It was understandable. For lack of a better word, she had been a bitch. 

But she wasn’t a bitch anymore. She was happy. And it was because of Crystal. 

When she had been trapped in her prison of popularity, Gigi had been forced to be perfect. To act perfect, to look perfect, to be perfect. Perfection was the only means that allowed her to survive the cutthroat standards that Dahlia and Nicky set. Gigi had become an expert in dodging food. She skirted around the meat and fat on her plate, learning the art of pretending to eat without actually eating anything. She avoided sugar like a pious woman avoids sinning, running out of the room to spit out cakes her mother had made. She had exercised like every pound of flesh was a bullet sticking into her skin, sweating away her insecurities as she held on to perfection with a death-defying grip. 

At the time, she had just called whatever it was “weight loss.” Turns out it was actually an “eating disorder.” Turns out, Gigi had been sick. Turns out, had she continued for another month or so, there was a chance she could have died. But Crystal had stopped that. Crystal had recognized the signs. 

It had taken nights of tears, begging, and finally convincing, for Gigi to go see therapy. To learn that what she thought was healthy was killing her. That maintaining the body of a stick-thin barbie doll was killing her. That perfection was killing her. After her first session, Gigi had immediately retreated into Crystal’s arms and cried, screaming apologies until her voice was raw. She was hurting. But eventually, she stopped hurting as much. A week after her first session and she managed to eat a cookie without immediately throwing up. A month later she managed to eat a slice of cake at Jan’s birthday party and Crystal had to physically stop herself from crying with pride. And now, three months later, she could eat a packet of chips without immediately thinking about the calories that added on with each bite. Day by day, she was healing and with Crystal’s hand in her own, she knew that it was possible. 

Gigi was healthier now. Happier now. Sure, her hips legs were no longer twig-thin and a small pool of fat gathered at the base of her stomach, but she was happier now so it was worth it. Right? 

  
  


dahlia_sin: someone gained weight huh? 

Below it was a picture of Gigi at Jackie’s pool party, wrapped inside Crystal’s arms, safe from Dahlia’s wrath. Or so she thought. She was dressed in a blue, velvet bikini that hugged her newly found curves and emphasized the slight pool of fat that had begun to gather in the base of her stomach. Where had she found that photo? 

dahlia_sin: fucking fat slut. 

Fat slut.

Gigi furrows her brows and takes her top off as she makes her way to the bathroom mirror. Studying her body with newfound scrutiny. Oh my god. Oh my god. Dahlia is right. She is fat. She is disgusting. A revolting sight to see. Her thighs were no longer separating but instead lightly touching, but even that is too much for Gigi. She couldn’t breathe. Gigi couldn't breathe. She needed air, she needed to breathe. She felt the fat surrounded by skin suffocating her and she needed air. She needed to breathe. She felt her legs give out underneath her and before she knew it, she was on the cold, tiled floor. She’s disgusting. A disgusting, fat pig and she needed to breathe. Oh my god. Oh my god. Is she dying? Is this what dying feels like? She was drowning and she needed air and oh my god. What if Crystal left her? What if Crystal saw her and realized she's fat and unlovable and a broken mess and decided to leave her. Oh my god. Oh my god-

She feels arms grab her off the floor and caress her. Crystal. It’s Crystal. 

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. I’m here. You’re going to be fine.”

“I can’t breathe.”

“I know, baby. Shhh. Just listen to my voice okay?”

It took a little while to calm Gigi down, but eventually, her rapid fire breathing slowed and was reduced to broken sobs that wet the grey fabric of Crystal’s shirt. Crystal held her tightly as if Gigi would fall apart if she let go, as she tried to repress sobs of her own. It hurt to see the person she cared not in the fall apart because the world just wasn’t fair. Gigi Goode was a good person. A kind person. A person who did not deserve the endless torment life had thrust upon her. She deserved a peaceful utopia where she and Crystal blasted Haley Kiyoko and fucked each other until they died. She didn’t deserve to collapse on the filth of the floor and sob out what appeared to be a broken heart. Suddenly Gigi began to push herself away, hiding further into the corner of her bathroom and mumbling something quietly to herself. 

“Gigi…” Crystal said, hurt coloring her tone. 

“Get away from me.”

“Gigi, why?”

“I’m disgusting, please don’t look at me.” To the horror of Crystal, Gigi began to pull at the skin on her body in a violent manner, holding the milky white flesh with bruising force. “LOOK AT THIS CRYSTAL. LOOK AT THIS. IM FAT. I WAS PERFECT BEFORE. Look at this. It’s hideous and I feel disgusted and every time I look in the mirror I want to throw up. Why? Because I am disgusting.”

Silence. 

“And one day,” Gigi said as her voice began to crack, sounding smaller. “ You’re going to realize this. You’re going to realize I’m not perfect anymore. And you’re going to find somebody else who is.”

Crystal fought back tears as she let the weight of Gigi’s words sink in. Gigi honesty thought that Crystal was going to leave her. She thought that she was going to leave her because of the gorgeous curves that intoxicated her, the way her breasts and stomach had rounded, the way she was more perfect than any mural, any painting.

“No.” Crystal said with newfound conviction as she gently caressed Gigi’s face. Luckily, Gigi didn’t try to pull away. 

“What?” 

“How can you say that? How can you say that you are anything less than perfect? You are the most perfect person I have ever met. You are never the same, you are always changing and that’s what makes you so perfect. Every two minutes I fall in love with a new person and I love it. You are the best person and the best thing in my life and I love you. And if you think I’m letting that go because you gained a few pounds, you are dead-ass wrong. In fact, those few pounds only endear me closer to you. I love you not because of how you look, but because of who you are. The fact that your breasts are a little heavier, your hips are a little wider just means that there is more of you to love.”

“But I’m not perfect anymore.” Gigi says as newly shed tears poured down her face. 

“No. You are more than perfect. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing. I love you and I would never ever-”

Gigi cut her off by reaching over and enveloping her in a semi-monstrous hug. 

“I love you so much, Geege. So much. And it kills me that you think I would ever walk away.”

“I’m so sorry.” 

“Never be sorry. I love you. I accepted everything that comes with you. The good and the bad. I accepted it all.”

“I love you so much, Crystal Elizabeth Methyd.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I hope y'all enjoyed this piece of garbage. This was definitely a shorter piece, but I really hope you liked it.


End file.
